


Thief vs. Thief II

by Yatterqueen



Series: #wedgiewednesday [30]
Category: Unlisted
Genre: Gen, no tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6509509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatterqueen/pseuds/Yatterqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Felicia takes <i>another </i>L after cameoing in <a href="http://fav.me/d9wfbf9">Sisterhood</a>. This time, she lost 58-43. However, Selina's due for some bad luck sometime in the future, because karma. </p><p>Anyway, please remember to comment on what you liked, what you didn't, etc.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Thief vs. Thief II

**Author's Note:**

> Felicia takes _another_ L after cameoing in [Sisterhood](http://fav.me/d9wfbf9). This time, she lost 58-43. However, Selina's due for some bad luck sometime in the future, because karma. 
> 
> Anyway, please remember to comment on what you liked, what you didn't, etc.

 This has not been a good week for Felicia Hardy. First, she ended up falling victim to Selina Kyle's cat. Then, she messed around and got hung up on her balcony for thirty minutes until that Scorpion girl decided enough was enough earlier today.

She's attempting to turn that around tonight. Unfortunately, Isis crossed her path one too many times two nights ago and her bad luck hasn't yet run out.

There's a museum exhibit with a _very_ lucrative painting but, as she gets ready to hop off the roof of her apartment building, she hears the crack of a whip and turns to see a purple clad cat burgular.

"Shi--lena. How nice to see you," Felicia says, dryly.

"Did you enjoy your night out on the town?" Selina teases. "Hope nobody got a peek of you."

Felicia scoffs. "No thanks to you. Don't worry, I'll get you back."

"Not tonight. Not ever, honestly," Selina stretches, "Are you going after that Dali? It's a waste of time, you know."

"We'll see," Felicia says. "You don't have your cat to protect you."

"I didn't _need_ Isis, Hardy."

"Like I said," Felicia hops off the rooftop, calling out, "We'll see."

<<>>

There's one woman protecting the _entire_ museum. It's a small one, certainly, but are they serious? What is this, _Night at the Museum?_ Well, that just means it's between Felicia and Selina. A true one on one contest.

The two slink and crawl and sneak like the experts they are until they reach the painting room. Then, of course, it becomes a competition.  

Who gets it?

"We're going to fight over it, aren't we?" Felicia asks, baring her claws.

In turn, Selina bares hers. "Seems so. You can just give up and save yourself the embarrassment."

The two women circle each other before lunging right at each other. Felicia gets the upper hand, dropping Selina thanks to the enhanced strength her costume grants her. She throws a couple of punches, one or two connecting, but most being dodged.

Selina kicks her off, throwing her overhead. She slides underneath Felicia's next pounce and uses her whip to bring her crashing down. However, Felicia is able to twist her body so she lands on her back, giving her room to roll onto her feet, pulling Selina, whose whip is tied around the Cat's ankle, close enough to tackle her to the ground.

The two continue to trade positions until they both make it to their feet, neither any closer to their prize.

Then the single security guard appears.

From the roof, she looked pretty small.  

Now, right here next to them, it's clear as day she is _not_ small.

The 6'0" former pro wrestler and supervillain Poundcakes, Marian Pouncy had taken this job because her parole officer said it'd be easy and a good way to reintegrate into society. Now, she has two cat themed criminals runnin' around. 'Course, she could just dispose of 'em like they used to in the Grapplers, but that'd probably get her locked up again.

Selina and Felicia recognize they're in no position to fight each other _and_ that wall of humanity, so they try to scatter, though Pouncy quickly grabs them by the legs, holding them upside down.

"You two are goin' to jail for breakin' an' enterin'."

Felicia looks at Selina and Selina back at her. _Is this lady serious?_ they seem to think. Both women smirk and shake their head.

"Not gonna' happen," they say in unison, swinging their bodies with enough force to bring their claws against Pouncy, shredding her shirt, but barely doing anything to her skin. Still, instinctively, the larger woman lets her two foes go, throwing them to the ground. The problem with that desperation move is that cats always land on their feet.

"You hit her high," Selina says.

"You hit her low," Felicia finishes. "I know how it works."

Pouncy prepares herself for the two, though not for their teamwork, Felicia holding her legs and Selina using her rival's back as a catapult to knee Pouncy right in the jaw. Because of the grip Hardy has, Pouncy trips because she can't stumble back.

"End it!" Felicia yells out, watching Selina fall from the sky, going right after Pouncy's face.

Unfortunately, Pouncy brings one of her massive hands across her body, sending Selina flying. She also kicks Felicia off, sending her careening too.

"Now I'm startin' to get upset," the ex-villain says. "Tell me how I'm s'posed to explain my shredded shirt t' my boss in the mornin'? You know what, you two'll tell him."

Felicia holds her head, trying to shake out the cobwebs. She sees Pouncy going after Selina and figures this is the opportunity to make her escape, but the giant security guard flings her rival into her, sending them both down.

"Oof!" Felicia says. "Get offa' me, Catwoman!"

Selina's dazed, but rolls off the white haired woman. "Like I want to be on top of _you._ "

Pouncy's charge catches them both off guard, neither being quick enough to avoid her gripping their costumes by the neck. She lifts them up and hangs them off separate hooks by the collar, though close enough they bump elbows occasionally.

It's not traditional, but it _is_  a wedgie alright, sinking their costumes into them, in addition to their underwear. Both women kick, but quickly realize that isn't helping, only making it worse.

"Now, just stay there while I go check out what else is goin' on here. Maybe there's a third cat lady runnin' around. Would be my luck..."

Pouncy keeps muttering to herself as she walks away, leaving Felicia and Selina alone, swinging slightly, with their costumes continuing to give them massive wedgies.

"How do you propose we get down?" Felicia asks, after what seems like an eternity of silence.

"You help me, I help you. We're close enough you can kind of lift me, at least enough for me to do the rest."

Felicia scrutinizes Selina's face. She's certain it's a lie but on the off-chance it isn't, it's the only way she's getting down. She doesn't want to be here when Pouncy gets back either. "Fine."

She twists her body so she can grab Selina under her arms and lifts her, with Selina using her hands and feet to get some grip on the wall behind her. Soon, Catwoman is just high enough that her collar unhooks and she is able to fall to the ground.

"Alright, help me down," Felicia says.  

Selina does not look like she's considering it, looking at her nails. "Forfeit the painting first."

"What?"

"Hang up there then."

"No, wait!" Sighing deeply, Felicia says, "Okay, okay. I forfeit the painting."

Selina starts to help Felicia down, but instead just pulls down on her legs, bouncing her rival around. "Sike!" she teases. "Have fun with Meathead back there."

"What? Selina!"

"7 to 5, Felicia!" Catwoman quickly gets the painting but, in the ultimate display of pettiness, whistles for Pouncy before she flees.

The large security guard comes running back, seeing a missing thief and one who looks really peeved with her costume sinking deeper.

"You let her get away, General Too Jacked."

Sometimes, Felicia taunts before she thinks, as she's still at Pouncy's mercy.

The security guard cracks her knuckles. "Think I'm gonna' take out my frustration on you."

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you."

"Why not?"

Felicia didn't really have a follow up, so she shrugs. "Because I'm pretty?"

Pouncy seems to seriously consider this for a moment, then shakes the thought away, lifting Felicia off the hook. She rips the waist of the thief's costume instead of hitting her in the face.

"You embarrass _me_ , I embarrass _you_."  

"That's not really --ooohkay! Ow!"

Pouncy uses her super strength to rocket Felicia's white lace panties up her behind, lifting her off the ground and bouncing her around.

Felicia, however, noticed Selina dropped her bolas when she was hung up. If she could just grab them, she could get out of this. That's a very big if, because Pouncy is using her like a weight.

"What if I -- help you get the painting back?" she says through gritted teeth, her underwear slicing into her.

Pouncy keeps Felicia in the air, though she stops bouncing her. "What do you mean?"

"I know where she lives. We go there, we get it, you keep your job."

"That... could work. If I let you down, how do I know you won't try nothin'?"

"Trust me?"

Pouncy deliberates, keeping Felicia airborne still, though she sinks ever closer to the ground each passing minute. Finally, she lets the thief down, though she still holds onto her underwear.

"Uh, you can let go now," Felicia says, trying to tug her panties back.

"Nuh-uh. In case you try something, I'm lifting you back in the air."

"What if I need to jump?"

" _I'll_ jump and hold on."

Felicia rolls her eyes. She's not about to be leashed by her panties. Instead, she throws her leg back with full force, catching Pouncy right in the... well... y'know... making the ex-villains eyes water.

Next, Hardy goes for the bolas, diving after them and throwing them at Pouncy, binding her legs and dropping her to the ground. Before following up, she picks out her wedgie, giving a brief reprieve to her foe.

Pouncy takes the opportunity to rip the bolas in two and stand up, highly pissed off. "You're in for it now, girly."

"Oh boy," Felicia mumbles, watching the boulder approach.

She tries to turn and run, succeeding somewhat, but only moving to another part of the museum before Pouncy catches her and slams her onto the ground. She grabs Felicia's panties again, pulling with all her strength.

"Owowowow!" Felicia repeats from the super strength wedgie she's receiving. Why won't her underwear rip? It's not supposed to be this stretchy!

The guard lifts her again, dragging her back to the hook in the room they left, leaving her there, this time by her panties.

Five minutes later, Felicia is tired of hanging, especially since she had thirty minutes of it earlier. "I learned my lesson," she says, trying something other than hanging limp to get down, "You want to go get Catwoman now?"

"No," Pouncy answers, pulling out her cellphone. "You had your chance. I'm callin' the cops. Maybe if I say you and the other one were workin' together, I'd keep my job for catchin' one of ya'."

"Wait? The police?" Felicia's heart starts to beat. People can't see her like this. Pouncy doesn't count. Not police and, then inevitably, news reporters.  

She picks herself up so she's hanging upright before Pouncy can hit call, throwing her legs around the ex-villain's head and choking her. In her desperation, Pouncy lifts Felicia off the hook to stop being choked, though Hardy doesn't soften her grip, instead tightening it and manages to use her weight to bring the both of them onto the ground so she can put the security guard in a triangle choke.

Slowly, but surely, Felicia puts the security guard to sleep. She sneaks into the security room and destroys all evidence of the footage of tonight. Pouncy's still knocked out, so Felicia just leaves her to her fate in the morning.

"No more Ms. Nice Cat," she says. "We're playing for keeps now, Kyle."


End file.
